Re: This morning. And last night. And, probably, tonight.
I thought it would be helpful for me to pull together a few helpful hints so that we might avoid the kind of hell we suffered this morning.
1. I cannot put a band-aid on your toe if you will not let me touch your toe. No amount of crying will change this fact.
2. You do not yet have the manual dexterity to get a band-aid on your own toe. No amount of crying will change this fact, only time.
3. Once three band-aids have been ruined in a twelve hour period, we are pretty much done with band-aids for toes whose true problem is that they have not been trimmed for weeks and are now starting to break off in jagged peaks. No amount of crying will change this.
4. Even Mommies have to go to the bathroom sometimes. No amount of crying will change this fact. However, screaming flailing outside the bathroom door will certainly encourage her to hold it for fifteen more minutes. Note that this will not improve her mood.
5. Telling your daddy, "No you color Ariel" sounds to him like he SHOULD color Ariel. While no amount of crying will change this fact, a universal translator might help.
6. You cannot help stir the scrambled eggs, nor may you touch the hot toaster. No amount of crying will change this, but check again in a couple years.
7. If you put a piece of scrambled egg on your buttered toast and then hold the toast vertically, yes, it will fall off. Every time. No amount of crying will change this fact.
8. You cannot go back to bed right after breakfast. From personal experience Mommy can tell you that no amount of crying can change this. Vomiting, however, can be very persuasive. But I'm not about to tell you that!
9. You cannot wear Crocs to school. No amount of crying will change this because it is the school's rule, not Mommy's.
I hope you have found this as helpful as I have. I am now going to enjoy the remaining 2.5 hours of my "fall break" that are mine to spend as I choose.