Happy Valentine's Day! (photo essay edition)

I made Cora a lion.

I think he's pretty awesome.

Cora and I made a cake. With sea-life sprinkles.
Because we love fish and dolphins and turtles and sharks and cake.

New motto. Working out okay so far.

Barettes for Cora, from Purl Soho's craft blog.

One of my Valentines.

The other one.

Fav Foto Friday: New...CrazySock!

My fabulous friend Nora is hosting Fav Foto Fridays - each Friday she posts a theme, and any blogger who wants to play along picks up the theme, posts a picture, and links back to her.

I am so tardy with photos all the time, and I hope that participation will both inspire me to post more often and also to take more photos.

Her theme for today is "New" and this is as good a time as any to introduce...CrazySock!

CrazySock was knitted, felted, stuffed, and decorated for Cora this Christmas. I had to work on it when she was around because it took FOREVER and I got a late start. Because the initial knitting is indeed a sock, albeit a gigantic one, I told her that it was a sock for Grandpa Dave. Amazingly, she had no trouble believing this. When I knit the ears, I told her they were decorations for the sock. When Grandpa Dave arrived for Christmas, I overheard her telling him that he was getting a crazy sock for Christmas.

The horse was finished in time, thanks to help from my mom, who knit the i-cord for the reins while I sewed on the eyes and mane and D-rings for the reins, and I carefully placed it in the very front of all the presents so it would be seen first - otherwise I knew it would be lost in the wash of other gifts. And CrazySock and the sled from Chris were indeed the first things she saw, played with, and fell in love with - pwhew!

(As usual, I wish I had thought to take more photos of the process. Something to remember in the future.)

Oh. Hi. Um....

My mom pointed out to me recently that it has been over a month since my last update. But I can explain! (Not that I need to...)

We had a very nice Christmas season (as Cora likes to say, as in, "is it still the Christmas season?"). Chris was home for three weeks, and after a "storm and form" first week we settled back into something like our old routine. I know the old routine will never really come back - but I would like parts of it to revive themselves once we are all together all the time again. Because of the weather - a Christmas Eve blizzard makes for a pretty winter scene, but can also disrupt plans - we ended up staying home Christmas Eve (which also explains why we don't actually have photos of Cora in her Christmas dress and Swedish braids - perhaps a dramatic recreation will be staged at some point), and basically holing up for three days. I loved it.

The day after Christmas, of course, I worried that it would be a big letdown for Cora that there were no more presents to unwrap. But, that wasn't the problem. The problem was that the Advent calendar was done. No more doors to open. No more morsels of chocolate. No more little verses about woodland creatures decorating a tree. She asked after that calendar until New Year's. Something to anticipate next year.

New Year's came and went. I found that this year I am feeling incredibly resistant to the idea of evaluating the last year, let alone the last decade. Likewise, I've had very little interest in contemplating the new year or the new decade. Things feel stagnant to me, with less than satisfactory times behind and before me. 2009 had its bright spots, but the last few months have, over all, just been really freaking hard. And, let's face it, there's more of the same for the next five months.

Still, the drive to resolve something at the beginning of a new year is strong. So, here's the one resolution I am prepared to make: To spend more time with friends this year. I feel like over the course of the last few months I'm moved to the margins of some of my friendship circles. A lot of this has to do with my need to hunker down and figure out how to be a solo parent, to make a routine and reinforce it so we don't completely drown in chaos. There are a lot of things that I have, in the past, depended on for my sanity and equilibrium, and I don't have time for those things now. So I had better make time for friends.

OK. Next time, photos.

What a difference a year makes

Last night Cora wanted to watch a Santa movie, and we settled on Christmas Eve on Sesame Street, a movie which does not technically feature Santa, but certainly has quite a bit to do with the jolly old elf. I remember watching this with her last year a couple times, too. But things were different this year.

We watched the movie (I'm sorry) during dinner and when we do that, I am usually actually sitting with my back to the TV, unless I twist around. But there was no twisting for me last night, because the real show was playing across her face. This time around, she laughed hysterically at Cookie Monster trying and trying to get a message to Santa, but eating each implement of communication he attempts. (Granted, she wasn't sure what kind of computer he was using, but luckily I was there to explain what a typewriter is. Or was.) And she worried when Ernie and Bert sold their favorite things to buy each other gifts. And watching the relief and smile that bloomed on her face when Mr Hooper shows up to return their favorite things...well, I admit that the full effect may have been lost on me because that part makes me cry EVERY FREAKING TIME. I still miss Mr Hooper!

And, thanks to dear Mr Hooper, I had an introduction to talking to her about other winter celebrations and Hannukah in particular. Then at the library today I found a nice picture book that talks about celebrating the nights of Hannukah and has really great artwork. We read that tonight and afterwards she said, "Mama, I'm not sure that I know how to say Hannukah!" Then realized she had said it, and grinned at her own accomplishment.

I really like the winter holiday season. I wish I could believe I will have time for all the things I love and want to do this year, but I know I won't. I don't think there will be much baking. Alas. Our decorating will be both rather piecemeal and late, given our split household. But, still. Evergreens! Candles! Music! Dickens! Burrowing in for a long weekend!

Forget sleep. I am counting on holiday spirit to be the balm my soul needs.

Earth Day

Dear Earth,

Happy Earth Day! I know, I know - it's hard to get excited about a party people throw because your health is so bad, and then what does it get you the rest of the year? Still, I think it is nice to feel like the belle of the ball, even if only once a year.

Here's what I'm doing for you today. Only driving a little bit, just to pick up my daughter and some library books. We're having a meatless meal - a cabbage and paneer curry (which, I know, sounds really, really awful, but I swear is really, really yummy). This meal may be offset by the fact that the cabbage cannot possibly be local, for example. Cora and I will plant her Easter seeds this afternoon: radishes and multicolor carrots. A good excuse to dig in the dirt and talk about where food comes from, and maybe even let her handle a worm or two (despite the fact that while doing stickers last night she tore the head off a caterpillar). I recycled cans and paper today. I composted the grapefruit rind.

It's a lot of little things, things that in the big scheme maybe don't amount to much. And maybe they aren't even so special as some of them happen all the time anyway. Maybe you think I should have made a bigger effort today, pulled out all the stops for a day, made one really grand gesture.

But, you know me. I'm more about the day to day, the everyday, the seemingly small, the journey of small steps, the long simmer, the love.

Kisses,
Your Tenant

All Cheese New Year

For New Year's Day dinner, after Cora went to bed, totally exhausted after being awake all day after staying up all night, Chris and I enjoyed a fondue dinner. The closest I may ever get to an actual all cheese dinner.

I have mixed feelings about both 2008 and 2009. 2008 had a lot of good moments, but in many ways it kind of feels like the year that never quite got off the ground for me - so much that didn't get done, so much that didn't go right. I feel like the last three months especially were just sort of this grimy gray wash of time, interspersed with some great meals, fun outings, and lovely moments of friendship, beauty, and love. But I'd like the ratio to be reversed, for the grime to be less.

And 2009, well, what I can say about the prospects for this year? It is likely we will be moving away from the city and (more importantly) the friends we love. It's the official Year of Potty-Training. Ugh. That's about as much as I care to talk about the 2009 horizon right now, because I pretty quickly get a sinking feeling when I look at the horizon.

Thank goodness, then, that I have a nearly-three year old in the house, for whom that horizon simply does not exist. For whom the new year is simply an excuse to dance.

So, come on in, 2009. Who knows what really lurks within your days?

Christmas, random photos from

One day, when I begin a photo essay blog post, I will remember that Blogger puts the photos up in reverse order, and you can only upload so many at a time, and you will see a chronological array of photos and you will keel over from the shock of it and want me to foot the ambulance bill. Until that time...above, Cora decorates Christmas cupcakes.

I wanted to capture the look on Cora's face when she first saw the tree with presents under it, but as soon as I held up the camera she said "Cheese!" I have created a monster.

Yeah, she likes the sweater, but didn't want to wear it over pajamas.

The tutu dress, of course is an entirely different story.

Playing with the new dolls...

Someone really likes her pajamas.

And her first dollhouse. She immediately knelt down in front of it, clapped her hands and said, "My dollhouse! It's my dollhouse!"

I love my mother even though she hounded me to post these pictures asap.

Little Red Riding Hood getting ready to go to the party at daycare today.
Posing with her friend Ariel, who came trick-or-treating with us...riding in the pumpkin.
The pumpkins Chris and I carved last night. Guess which one is mine and which is his!
Last Sunday, when we went to get our pumpkins...tough choices!
Earlier this week. Cora has been wearing the cape pretty steadily ever since I showed it to her two weeks ago. And we've been reading just about every Little Red book we could get at the library. She knows the story. When we go to a friend's costume party tomorrow night, I will be Granny and Chris will be the woodsman.

You can tell a toddler, but not much

MEMO
To: Cora
Re: This morning. And last night. And, probably, tonight.

Dear Cora,
I thought it would be helpful for me to pull together a few helpful hints so that we might avoid the kind of hell we suffered this morning.

1. I cannot put a band-aid on your toe if you will not let me touch your toe. No amount of crying will change this fact.

2. You do not yet have the manual dexterity to get a band-aid on your own toe. No amount of crying will change this fact, only time.

3. Once three band-aids have been ruined in a twelve hour period, we are pretty much done with band-aids for toes whose true problem is that they have not been trimmed for weeks and are now starting to break off in jagged peaks. No amount of crying will change this.

4. Even Mommies have to go to the bathroom sometimes. No amount of crying will change this fact. However, screaming flailing outside the bathroom door will certainly encourage her to hold it for fifteen more minutes. Note that this will not improve her mood.

5. Telling your daddy, "No you color Ariel" sounds to him like he SHOULD color Ariel. While no amount of crying will change this fact, a universal translator might help.

6. You cannot help stir the scrambled eggs, nor may you touch the hot toaster. No amount of crying will change this, but check again in a couple years.

7. If you put a piece of scrambled egg on your buttered toast and then hold the toast vertically, yes, it will fall off. Every time. No amount of crying will change this fact.

8. You cannot go back to bed right after breakfast. From personal experience Mommy can tell you that no amount of crying can change this. Vomiting, however, can be very persuasive. But I'm not about to tell you that!

9. You cannot wear Crocs to school. No amount of crying will change this because it is the school's rule, not Mommy's.

I hope you have found this as helpful as I have. I am now going to enjoy the remaining 2.5 hours of my "fall break" that are mine to spend as I choose.

Love,
Your Mommy

Happy Father's Day!

Valentine's Day 2008

A delicious breakfast...

Cora's first donut with SPRINKLES!

Sometimes donuts make you tired. Sometimes you're just pretending.

First playdough! Fun!

SQUISH!

HELLO 2008, in which I hope to have more time for reading, writing, blogging, and breathing

I can hardly believe I survived the fall semester. Did I already mention that, contrary to what you (I) might think, 60 papers is actually A LOT more than 40? I'm trying to say it often so that I might remember it next time. Although, of course I would do it again - it was so nice to be able to get take-out food! But next time I will be better prepared. Right?

We are also glad it is 2008 because our friends who were living in NH are back in town. We tried to celebrate the new year with them, but after a delicious dinner and the start of a fun party...by 10pm Cora had that glazed "I'm not going to sleep, but I will run into walls" look. So we came home, she went to sleep immediately in her own bed, and we followed suit shortly after midnight. Whoo hoo! This is exactly what I always dreamed being an adult was like!

But she has reason to be happy to be in her own bed. After our Christmas week of traveling in Southern California, we are all a little thrilled to be back in our own beds, even though there is nothing quite like being loved and spoiled by one's own mother (now, THAT is exactly what I always dreamed being an adult was like! As fun as my childhood, but with later bedtimes and adult beverages!)

A few photos from New Year's Day - a day that was full of hats and coffee.

Please, Mama, no more pictures.

Is it still December?

I've been gone so long! I wish I could say I'd been doing something really cool and fun, like starting up a knitted ear cap business and marketing them online and they really took off and I've been knitting my fingers to the bone but it's all worth it, cause now Brad Pitt is wearing my ear caps while he rebuilds New Orleans... but alas, no. Only Chris has ear caps, and they are just the cut off thumbs of Cora's mittens.

And then there was the Mt. Everest of grading that I had to scale. It took a very long time, because I do not have grading-sherpas helping me out. Still, I managed to fit in a tea party or two.

And I tried to work with Cora on how to put a nice outfit together. She really likes to accessorize. Hat and bib? Grated cheddar? All look great on her!

And I found a new buddy for Cora, who I hope will help keep track of her when we are out and about. I would so rather have a real dog do this work, but our cats would band together and kill me if that happened. So, for now, this buddy dog will have to do.

But listen up, kitties! The day is coming! If they would just think it through, they would be scratching "Pleez get dogz" into the litter box because the PRESSURE TO BE PETTED would be off! The baby would chase the dog! The dog would be the one she pointed at and said, "Noooooooo!" to for no good reason.

And now, Christmas is coming (you know what that means for the geese), and everyday the mail brings these really cool little booklets, sometimes with pictures of babies, or dogs, or trees, or birds, and that is a lot of fun.

Thankful

There's really a lot to be thankful for, isn't there? A lot I could list here, a lot of people, a lot of circumstances, a lot of animals and vegetables and maybe a few minerals. I feel a certain pressure to be profound, without being too abstract, and sincere, without being overly earnest. And while I'm willing to make a stb at sincere, I do not feel up to profundity.

So, I'm just going to pick two things to publicly recognize with gratitude. First is family - and by family I mean the larger-than-biology sense, all the people we like and love, those related by blood and those related by years of friendship. Every sappy thing you can think of, I could totally say and mean sincerely. I'll leave it at that.

And the second thing is the telephone, the little plastic and wire contraption that lets me talk to so many members of our beloved and far-flung family pretty much whenever I want. I feel very thankful for that little gadget this holiday, as we reach out to CA, GA, NH, DC, and other fine states.

Okay, yes, you're right. How did you know I wouldn't be able to resist? There is one more thing I really want recognize:

I'm so very thankful for this goofy little person.